Hard Moments

I had one of those moments. You know the ones where you look in the mirror and all you want is to break it, since you feel like if life were a movie that is what would be happening anyway. You see that tummy bulging  out in a way that makes you want to throw up, cry, and eat a tub of ice cream all at the same time. In a few weeks I will be singing with a small group in the St. George Tabernacle. The attire is formal dress. I looked through what I have. I have quite a few gowns that look the part. The only problem is that I don't look the part. I've grown since I last wore those dresses, and not in a maybe I can let out the hem kind of way.  It's a harsh reminder of one of the many reasons I am doing this. Normally I give in, I think to myself this is just the way I am and that pigging out will at least ease this pain and stop the tears. So tonight I am blogging about it instead. Writing instead of a video, because I'm not sure I can stand the shame of crying for myself online. Well I better go to bed. I have a three year old who probably won't until I do.